RE: Pre season training,in Anything that's not Eriba-related. Fri Nov 01, 2013 10:01 am
by Crow (deleted)
So what pray is the checking underneath the chassis/floor position called?
I had crawled under to check something for a fellow Eriba owner and due to
my partial bionic man upgrade could not get up off the deck until the lioness
came to see where I had got to
(These system smilies are crap by the way)
RE: Pre season training,in Anything that's not Eriba-related. Fri Nov 01, 2013 11:17 am
by Aaron Calder • | 3.732 Posts
RE: Pre season training,in Anything that's not Eriba-related. Fri Nov 01, 2013 11:30 am
by Crystal • | 244 Posts
Ignore me as a poster - this belongs to TeePee, but he's stuck on the M25 and wanted to get his images on here!
Who's a silly fakir then!teepee avatar-56d19247-5.jpg - Bild entfernt (keine Rechte)
I think it was Noel Coward (or Oscar Wilde?) who said he would not play cricket because "it required one to assume such ridiculous postures..."
Well I have played cricket and I understand what he was getting at. However there is another activity which would have perplexed the great man and could well be the perfect training regime for his vision of cricket.......
May I present ERIBA YOGA.
You will all know the range of weird and wonderful postures that are required for the full enjoyment of our chosen recreational vehicles but you may not know that our hobby is distantly related to a martial art inflicted on us by those wily orientals.
Take for example:
The Praying Mantis praying-mantis.jpg - Bild entfernt (keine Rechte)
Fans of the Karate Kid will,recognise this one, but in its original form it was developed from the posture necessary for the correct erection of an awning.
The wide legged stance and up stretched arms are accompanied by the realisation that this is really a job for human sized spiders. It is not compulsory to make the blood curdling yells that usually accompany martial arts but you may find that they help!
Yes My love? yes-my-love.jpg - Bild entfernt (keine Rechte)
The basic yoga aim of inner serenity and outward calm has its own particular posture in the Eriba form of the art. This is most often seen as a follow up to the Praying Mantis and continues the theme of gender warfare that awning erection requires.
The Deep Meditation deep-mediitation.jpg - Bild entfernt (keine Rechte)
In more recent times the sculptor Rodin has payed homage to the Eriba yoga posture known as the 'Thetford Think'. In similar disciplines this posture can be accompanied by the rustling of newspaper or the sound of mobile phone games but this is unlikely in the Eriba mode where it is usually silent.
The Dometic Genuflection. domestic-genuflection.jpg - Bild entfernt (keine Rechte)
This used to be called the Electrolux Lunge.Worship of the Great God known as Coolth is best undertaken and most rewarding in this pose. Correctly formed it should have one ear on the floor, bottom in the air and one hand reaching for the button of light.This is clearly an advanced posture and an unnatural position for humankind to hold for any length of time. It can cause pain, strain and cramp. The aim is to reach the state of sublime Nirvana or ignition as it is called in Eriba Yoga.
The Astronomer astronomer-for-web.jpg - Bild entfernt (keine Rechte)
This is actually one of the first postures that Eriba disciples learn. Many novices perform this posture repeatedly and in an uncontrolled manner. More experienced practitioners can be recognised by the deep horizontal crease across the forehead which they wear as a badge of honour (and an aide memoir!).
The clasping of the head is in order to enhance the state of mind known as Eriba Enrapture characterised by loud exclamations and sudden falling down. It gets it's name of 'The Astronomer' from the vision of stars seen by its victims acolytes at the moment of impact.
Recent research seems to show that this is an automatic reflex, not learned, and is most pronounced when entering and leaving Eriba Temples.
Students of Eriba Yoga will recognise these postures and through constant exposure and practise will become inwardly enlightened, physically supple, athletic and firm of body.
However, as with all new disciplines and exercises, things should be taken slowly to make genuine steady progress in order to avoid becoming like the broken down, stooping wrecks and hernia ridden specimens characteristic of other hobbies and professional sportsmen.
The true disciple of Eriba Yoga is pure of spirit, clean living, strong willed, bodily toned and tuned into the mystic voices........'Ah grasshopper, what is the meaning of Remoska?'