#1

EU to adopt English as official language.

in Anything that's not Eriba-related. Thu Feb 06, 2014 10:51 am
by Deeps (deleted)
avatar

This is in retaliation to the Scots seeking independence and to act as a deterrent to the Welsh.

The European Commission has announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU, rather than German, which was the other contender. Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had room for improvement and has therefore accepted a five-year phasing in of "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make sivil servants jump for joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k", Which should klear up some konfusion and allow one key less on keyboards.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f", making words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e" is disgrasful.
By the fourth yer, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and everivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer. ZE DREM VIL FINALI COM TRU!
Herr Schmidt


2013 Triton 430, VW Touran TDI BM
мы прибываем невидимые - we arrive invisible


Last edited Thu Feb 06, 2014 10:51 am | Scroll up

#2

RE: EU to adopt English as official language.

in Anything that's not Eriba-related. Thu Feb 06, 2014 10:57 am
by Pop540 (deleted)
avatar

my gosh
and folk already struggle with Yorkshire dialect euro English would take google translate to another level


Eriba troll 540 likes constant hugs, and buffs and the odd cuppa.

Scroll up

#3

RE: EU to adopt English as official language.

in Anything that's not Eriba-related. Thu Feb 06, 2014 11:24 pm
by Julie Grafo | 3.449 Posts

I think my middle daughter is already using this form of Euro-English judging by the text messages she sends me.
If you think Yorkshire is difficult you should hear the last few speakers of the original Lincolnshire dialect, it's a foreign language.


Puck L 225 GT pushing Fiat Multipla 1.9 Jtd
Scroll up

#4

RE: EU to adopt English as official language.

in Anything that's not Eriba-related. Fri Feb 07, 2014 12:43 pm
by crow (deleted)
avatar

More texting short cuts


Scroll up


Visitors
4 Members and 47 Guests are online.

Board Statistics
The forum has 12490 topics and 105449 posts.



disconnected Forum-Chat Members online 4